These past 3 years, I have invested, with extraordinary patience, €25,000 into my projects. I thought I was nearly done with my investments, but after some calculations, I realized I am only 50% of the way to covering the essentials. I am preparing myself for another 3 years of eating pasta and rice, unable to capitalize on an investment that, while massive, remains incomplete. The most frustrating part is that I don’t have eternal life. House Station Live hasn’t broadcasted during these 3 years because these investments prevent us from affording even a single record. I know that over the next 3 or 4 years, I won’t be making music or having a romantic life. I won’t even tell you how old I’ll be in 4 or 5 years.
Let’s suppose that, by some miracle, I manage to keep my association alive and finish my investments—if I don’t have children, who will I pass all this onto? At some point, I need to think a bit about myself and try to have some semblance of a social life. An entire lifetime of work will go to waste; I have no family or friends to whom I can pass this legacy. The faster I finish this project, the faster I can go back to enjoying simple things like restaurants, movies, and trying to build myself as a human being, instead of spending a lifetime building myself as a “legal entity” in an era where merely “surviving” in a professional environment is seen as presumptuous. And when I think of all the promotion we’ve planned but is stuck because of half-finished projects and limited financial resources… If only there was a fucking bank willing to lend me €30,000 and save me from waiting 10 years to commercialize my work ■
